- Larry Appleton: I don't like to be embarrassed. I've spent my whole life avoiding embarrassing situations. Who knows when it started? Maybe when I was born nude in front of all those strangers
- Balki Bartokomous: So, this is one of your American mating places.
- Larry Appleton: Meeting, a meeting place. People meet each other here. They mate somewhere else.
- Balki Bartokomous: Will you come with me, Cousin Larry? Tonight is kind of special.
- Larry Appleton: No, Balki, a singles bar is not my first choice of places to meet women. I prefer more formal situations you know, uh... weddings... tax audit... Heimlich maneuver...