Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous

Quotes 

• Balki Bartokomous : Who's to say who's right? You say to-may-to and I say to-may-to.

• Mr. Donald 'Twinkie' Twinkacetti : Don't tell me... you're here for your lobotomy.

  Balki Bartokomous : No, we didn't come for fun. We came to visit you.

• Balki Bartokomous : Okay, I go to the hospital. You stay here. I go visit our boss. And when he says 'Where's Appleton?' I'll say, 'Oh him? He's at home hiding from little invisible things that are out to get him.'

• Larry Appleton : [explaining the concept of germs to Balki]  Nobody can see them. They are... they're... they're tiny. They're microscopic. See, germs are little, tiny things that travel through the air and they get into your body and they make you sick.

  Balki Bartokomous : Tell me about these invisible creatures... do they have a leader?

• Balki Bartokomous : So that's how you get dates... you bribe them.

  Larry Appleton : It's a method.