- Pim Diffy, Phil Diffy: Dad!
- Phil Diffy: Dad... Pim's being nice to me.
- Lloyd Diffy: Pim stop being nice to your brother!
- Pim Diffy: [Covers mouth with her hand] I can't help it!
- Lloyd Diffy: Then Phil whatever you're doing to make your sister be nice to you, knock it off.
- [scoffs then walks away]
- Pim Diffy: [Holds arms out to Phil] What could be better then giving your baby sister a hug?
- Phil Diffy: [Stops her from hugging him] Let's see, getting my teeth drilled, falling on broken glass, licking a cactus.
- Phil Diffy: [Credits start, but he stops them and looks at the camera] I'm not finished. Slamming my hand in a car door, pouring salt on a paper cut, wrestling a porcupine.
- Phil Diffy: [Looks back at camera] I'm done.
- Phil Diffy: [Pulls Pim into an empty classroom] Pim something is really wrong with us!
- Pim Diffy: First of all it's lil' Pim. And second of all
- [jumps off desk]
- Pim Diffy: I know! I can't stop being nice to him!
- Phil Diffy: [Smiles at Pim sweetly] It's ok, you're really pretty when you're nice
- [Runs hands through hair and face]
- Phil Diffy: Aaah! The lies keep getting bigger!
- Lloyd Diffy: [talks to Pim and Phil through the communicator] It's a future disease, it's not dangerous. It affects your personality, changes it temporarily. Phil, usually a straight shooter is now a despicable liar.
- Phil Diffy: Hah! Excellent!
- Lloyd Diffy: And Pim brace yourself, you're now the daughter that every parent dreams of.
- Pim Diffy: I love you daddy.
- Lloyd Diffy: Wow, you really have it a bad.
- Lloyd Diffy: [Throw telephone into the dishwasher] We're all allowed to use the phone!
- Phil Diffy: Dad! You've gotta ignore me alright? I've got to find...
- [Struggles with trying not to lie]
- Phil Diffy: lose Keely! Some guy didn't ask her out and now I have to let them go!
- Lloyd Diffy: [Slapping his cheeks] Focus Lloyd!
- Lloyd Diffy: [looks at Phil] Alright some guy...
- Phil Diffy: [Nodding happily] No!
- Lloyd Diffy: Asked Keely out...
- Phil Diffy: [Nodding harder] No!
- Lloyd Diffy: And if you don't stop her they'll be out on a date!
- Phil Diffy: [Nodding and smiling] You're totally missing the point!
- Lloyd Diffy: [Starts lying] Well son you I know couldn't care less but you can go
- [locks the backdoor and guards it]
- Phil Diffy: [Give his dad a death glare] You've really mad me happy Dad.
- Lil Danny Dawkins: [to Phil when Pim hugs him] What's wrong with her?
- Phil Diffy: Don't take it too personally. She just hugged a trash can.
- Keely Teslow: Bruno... I gotta go with the troll.
- Bruno: Can't say I blame you. He's adorable. Yeah...
- [walks away]
- Phil Diffy: It was the beard, wasn't it?
- Bruno: The beard on its own, not so much. But when you have the nickname "Trollboy" and green skin, it's every girl's dream.
- Keely Teslow: Bruno... I gotta go with the troll.
- Bruno: Can't say I blame you. He's adorable. Yeah...
- [walks away]
- Phil Diffy: It was the beard, wasn't it?
- Keely Teslow: The beard on its own, not so much. But when you have the nickname "Trollboy" and green skin, it's every girl's dream.