- Sophie Lipkin: It really is amazing, isn't it? People will watch a lousy home video eight hundred times and you can't get them to watch "The Torkelsons" even once.
- Pierce Van Horne: Mother, can we go home? It's midnight and I've got school tomorrow.
- Caitlyn Van Horne: Pierce, did I complain when you were a baby and the nurse got up with you at midnight?