Prisoner (TV Series)

Episode #6.17 (1984)

Caroline Gillmer: Helen Smart

Quotes 

• Judy Bryant : [having had Sonia rush out of her cell in front of her]  What's up with you this morning Sonia, you got ghosts in there or something?

  Sonia Stevens : No. There's something in my cell; I heard it crawling around all night.

  Judy Bryant : Crawling around? What do you think it was, a baby or a snake?

  [the other women laugh] 

  Judy Bryant : You been drinking Hooch have you?

  Bobbie Mitchell : Maybe it was a python in a top hat?

  [they laugh] 

  Helen Smart : Could've been a trouser snake?

  Bobbie Mitchell : Ah no! No trouser snake would go near her!

  Phyllis Hunt : What's going on?

  Bobbie Mitchell : Sonia is seeing snakes!

  Helen Smart : No no no, you didn't hear it properly, Bobbie; she's *heeearing* them!

  [they all laugh] 

  Phyllis Hunt : Yeah? I didn't know they could talk!

  Sonia Stevens : There is something in there! Now why won't you believe me?

  Helen Smart : Well that's a silly question if you want my opinion.

  Sonia Stevens : You know what I think of your opinion, Smart.

  Helen Smart : Yeah, well, it's mutual, darling.

• Helen Smart : So what's gonna happen to Driscoll, Jude? I thought Myra was your last hope?

  Judy Bryant : Well, I never thought I'd say this, but at the moment I couldn't care less about Driscoll. All I wanna do is see poor Myra and cheer her up a bit; she must be feeling dreadful.

  Helen Smart : I never met her old man but I hear he was a proper mongrel.

  Judy Bryant : Yeah, he was the pits. She did the world a favour by getting rid of that bastard.

  Helen Smart : Well, I don't think they're gonna exactly give her a medal for it.

• Judy Bryant : [rushing into the cell after having heard Helen scream to find she has discovered the snake]  Oh my God!

  Helen Smart : It bit me Judy! The bloody thing bit me!