- Wishbone: Come on, boy, all you gotta do is bend.
- Rowdy Yates: What would I do? A few high kicks for you? I told you, I couldn't bend.
- Gil Favor: All right, take it easy. Mushy, pick up the supply wagon, will ya. You got a passenger.
- Mushy: Yessir.
- Gil Favor: Wish. How bad?
- Wishbone: Blessed if I know. He hasn't got one thing except one tiny little scratch you gotta look cross-eyed to see.
- Gil Favor: Anything you can do?
- Wishbone: Outside of sweet-talking him, not one blessed thing. Takes a doctor to figure out a back like that.
- Gil Favor: Well, you've got to admit it, it does make it a fitting touch to a perfect day. Remuda runs off, the ramrod's out of commission, we inherit part of a Japanese trade delegation, and now, all right, Quince, break out the rifles, we'll ride the men in pairs.
- Nami: But girl servant bathe later, first Hey Soos, then all drover, then girl servant.
- Jim Quince: Yeah, but don't you reckon that water gonna be a little bit dirty by the time you get around to it?
- Nami: Why? Everybody wash before?
- Joe Scarlet: Before getting in the tub?
- Nami: In America, people take bath dirty?
- Wishbone: Everybody step aside, I'll find out who she is.
- Gil Favor: You will?
- Wishbone: I speak Japanese. I gotta cousin who sails out of San Fransisco, goes over there all the time. Sayonara! What's the matter? Don't you speak your own language?
- Rowdy Yates: What's that mean, Wish?
- Wishbone: Well, it's kind of a greeting, like hello.
- Mushy: Mr Wishbone?
- Wishbone: What?
- Mushy: If you mean hello, why don't you say hello.
- Wishbone: Because she wouldn't understand, you idiot.
- Mushy: What's your name?
- Nami: My name is Nami.
- Toothless: [after the earthquake] Darnedest thing I ever saw.
- Jim Quince: Yeah, like walking uphill backwards.
- Jim Quince: About the only thing that's gonna help that worried man anyway would be U. S. Grant and about 12 regiments.
- Gil Favor: Nine, huh?
- Hey Soos: Nine.
- Gil Favor: Nine horses for 3,000 cows. No way to move 'em. No water. And a bunch of Kiowas just waiting for us to drop off a tree like a rotten apple.
- Hey Soos: Senor Favor, let me go to Goldhill, I can bring the soldiers back.
- Gil Favor: YOU? You I wouldn't let cross the road by yourself!
- Nami: I go to school. I too clumsy, too ignorant, and good for nothing. I dance like a horse, sing like a crow.