Red Dwarf (TV Series)
Better Than Life (1988)
Danny John-Jules: Cat
Photos
Quotes
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[Rimmer's father has died. The Cat attempts to console him]
The Cat : About your father. If it's any help, he's in the ground now. Sure, it's bad news for him. But on the other hand, it's party time for all those little worms.
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Holly : What's happening, dudes?
The Cat : We're having a really nice time. I'm dating Marilyn Monroe and also I have another girlfriend who's a mermaid. She's half woman, half fish.
[turns round to look]
The Cat : It's Miranda, my girlfriend!
[as she comes out of the water we see that the top half of her is a fish, the bottom half is a woman]
Holly : Somehow I'd imagined she'd be a woman on top and a fish on the bottom.
The Cat : No, that's the *stupid* way round!
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Marilyn Monroe : Hi Sugar! How's about a little bit of "oobie doobie doo"?
The Cat : How's about a little bit of "oobie doobie DON'T"!
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Rimmer's Dad : I just wanted to say... You're a total smeghead!
Rimmer : What? This isn't my fantasy?
The Cat : [leans into frame, grinning] No, it's MINE!
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[in the game "Better Than Life", Lister and Cat see Rimmer pulling up in an old Morris Minor estate car with Yvonne McGruder and seven young, unruly children]
Lister : Rimmer, what happened to you?
Rimmer : Lister! Ah, this a great game, Lister. I couldn't be happier.
The Cat : Who are all those guys?
Rimmer : It's McGruder. She got pregnant. So this morning, she made me marry her and this afternoon we had seven kids. Bliss.
Lister : Where's your E-Type?
Rimmer : It was too impractical, with all the kids and everything.
Lister : Rimmer, you fantasise that you have seven kids and a mortgage?
[Rimmer grabs Lister and puts his face right up to his]
Rimmer : [weakly] Help.
Yvonne McGruder : Arn-old! Where are the nappy sacks?
Rimmer : [his H has returned to his forehead and he has suddenly become unshaven and dirty] My brain's rebelled. It just won't accept nice things happening to me. It just keeps fantasising horribleness.
