Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Confidence and Paranoia (1988)

Craig Charles: Lister

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Cat : Hey! You're awake!

  Lister : Yeah, I've just woke up.

  The Cat : Yeah, well, I've brought you some presents!

  Lister : Aw, you shouldn't have bothered.

  The Cat : Ha ha! Well, I'm that kind of guy! Hey, let's see what we've got in the magic bag here! I got you some grapes!

  [the Cat holds up the bare stems of an ex-bunch of grapes] 

  The Cat : And I got you an orange!

  [the Cat holds up an orange peel] 

  Lister : Thanks a lot.

  The Cat : That's all right. Hey, well, all this enormous generosity has made me tired. I'm going to bed.

  [the Cat takes Lister's pillow and blanket and lays down on the bottom bunk] 

  The Cat : Ah, yes, indeedy.

• Lister : Love is what makes us different from animals.

  Rimmer : No, Lister, what makes us different from animals is that we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals.

• Lister : Why didn't I ask her out? What's the worst she could've said?

  Rimmer : She could've said, "No, you're a filthy, stinking, loathsome, disgusting object I wouldn't be seen dead with in a plague pit."