- The Cat: I say let's get into the jet-powered rocket pants and Junior Birdman the hell out of here.
- Kryten: An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks. A, We don't have any jet-powered rocket pants. And B, There's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial "Robbie Rocket Pants".
- The Cat: Well, that's put a crimp on an otherwise damn fine plan.
- Kryten: Sir, a couple of brief points: firstly, you're not a qualified service engineer, and, consequently, sawing me in two will invalidate my guarantee; secondly, I wouldn't trust you to open a can of sardines that was already open.
- Kryten: Kryten personal black box recording. Time: unknown. Location: unknown. Cause of accident: unknown. Should someone find this recording, perhaps it will shed light as to what happened here. My short-term memory has been erased. This, I ascribe to the proximity of the magnetic coils from Starbug's rear engine. Secondly, due to the proximity of the magnetic coils, my short term memory appears to have been erased. This, combined with the erasure of my short-term memory, has left me a little disoriented, disoriented, disoriented.
- Rimmer: Why are you all looking at me like that? Like this is MY fault? Do you have any idea what kind of day I've had? I've been kidnapped, stripped, oiled, manacled, licked, nibbled, chained, taunted, humiliated and I very nearly had a round, knobbly thing the size and shape of a Mexican agarve cactus jammed up where only Customs men dare to probe.
- Kryten: I remember Mr Rimmer spotted an S3 planet on the scope, and wanted to claim it on behalf of the Space Corps. As usual, the ceremony consisted of planting the flag and singing all 23 stanzas of the Space Corps anthem. Then the planet started to erupt around us, which frankly, came as something of a relief.
- Holly: [a pod has entered Red Dwarf - Holly claims a tarantula has escaped from it] I don't want to spread any panic or alarm.
- Lister: [looking shocked] What do you mean, don't want to spread any panic or alarm?
- Holly: Well, you've always had this thing against tarantulas, haven't you?
- Lister: Tarantulas?
- Holly: I mean, you've never been entirely fond of them as a species, have you?
- Lister: Well, no.
- Holly: And the prospect of waking up and finding one clambering over your clammy, naked, helpless body fills you up with a kind of... cold dread.
- Lister: Well, yeah. What are you trying to say, Holly?
- Holly: I'm saying, it may not be your night.