- Dan: [the girls missed curfew again] We said 9:00, we meant 9:00.
- Roseanne: Yeah, 'cause see, we have this really crazy idea that you actually listen when we speak. And when you're not here by nine, we figure you have a reason, and if we're not hearing that reason from you, then we just sit here and make up our own reason, like that you're laying in a ditch somewhere
- Becky: We would've called, but there was no phone in the ditch we were laying in... Ha Ha?
- Dan: [to the waiter] Yeah, 45 minutes for a rare steak; I'd ask for steak sauce, but I've gotta be at work Monday morning.
- Dan: Aw, get off the sympathy wagon, Roseanne; there were plenty of guys standing in line for you to treat 'em like dirt. I was just the lucky one.
- Becky: Well if they're not missing, then what are they? I mean, hey, let's face it, even Mom and Dad can't eat dinner for *four* hours.