- Phyllis Zimmer: [discussing their affair in high school] Roseanne ever find out about us?
- Dan: Yeah.
- Dan: [points to his teeth] False, false, crown, bridge.
- Jackie Harris: Remeber how nuts she went when she found out what you guys did in high school?
- Dan Conner: Yeah, I do. And we're not going to put her through that again, *are* we?
- Jackie Harris: No, of course not. Dan, Roseanne is very sensitive about this... and we know how dangerous she is when she gets sensitive.
- Jackie Harris: [Roseanne, angry, grabs her keys and leaves the house] Oh God. This is really bad.
- Dan Conner: Yeah, I know.
- Jackie Harris: Oh no. I mean, this is *really* bad. I'm parked *behind* her.
- Dan Conner: [Roseanne stayed at Jackie's all night] I'll cook your breakfast.
- D.J. Conner: You can't cook.
- Dan Conner: I'll barbecue your breakfast.
- Dan Conner: [looking through the fridge for something to give DJ for breakfast] How about your mom's chocolate pudding? It's fortified with Milky Ways.
- Jackie Harris: [finds out Dan had lunch with Phyllis] I can't lie to Roseanne.
- Fred: I don't think it would be wrong.
- Jackie Harris: No I mean I *can't* lie, I try and she always knows.
- Roseanne Conner: [from the kitchen] Jackie, get in here!
- Jackie Harris: I'm working!
- Roseanne Conner: No you're not!