- Roseanne: Hey Darlene, you're late.
- Darlene Conner: I know, I got hung up at school.
- Roseanne: Well two people already's been calling lookin' for their newspapers,
- Darlene Conner: [slams down her books] Damn!
- Roseanne: Well, there's no need to cuss for hell's sake!
- Jackie Harris: Pack your bags, we're going to Wizard World for the weekend!
- Becky Conner: Are Mom and Dad coming?
- Jackie Harris: No!
- Becky Conner, Darlene Conner, D.J. Conner: YAY!
- Jackie Harris: I'm running away for the weekend and I'm taking your kids with me, you can have the house to yourself and honeymoon here.
- Roseanne Conner: Are you serious?
- Jackie Harris: Yeah, and you better enjoy it because it's the last anniversary present I'm giving you for the next 10 years!
- D.J. Conner: [counting his money] How much is this?
- Roseanne Conner: I don't know. What're you going to do with it?
- D.J. Conner: I don't know.
- Roseanne Conner: Buy me something nice.
- D.J. Conner: What do you want?
- Roseanne Conner: A honeymoon.
- D.J. Conner: What's a honeymoon?
- Roseanne Conner: I don't know, I never had one.
- Dan: [about Becky's loud music] Would you please turn that down? I'm trying to watch the game.
- Becky: I'm trying to learn Biology.
- Dan: Well, all you need to know about Biology is that the head bone's connected to the neck bone, and the neck bone's going to be broken unless you get up there and turn that down.