An opening salute to office workers; quickies; Uncle Al the kiddies' pal; children's birthday party runners; monster runners with Arte Johnson as Dr. Frankenstein and Alan Sues as his bungling creation; female regulars dress as pilgrims to introduce news of the past, present, and future; George Washington and Thomas Jefferson craft the Declaration of Independence; Big Al presents the sports news; Dan Rowan plays a cigarette company executive leading his employees in a campaign to boost sales; Dickie Martin starts the day at home with some exercise; Goldie Hawn and Henry Gibson play frogs on lily pads; Arte plays a boisterous faith healer; Henry shares his Englebert poem; cocktail party; The Mod, Mod World looks at privacy and the lack thereof; homeless Dan repeatedly asks Jo Anne Worley for cigarettes in runners; jokes are made about Englebert's name; the Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award goes to a sitting Congressman and six of his colleagues; Tyrone and Gladys; Potpourri; Jeremy Lloyd hosts a honeymoon game show with two competing couples. Featuring Jack Benny, Johnny Carson, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Peter Lawford, and Jill St. John in cameos.
—Maisie Fleckum