Demond Wilson: Lamont Sanford

Quotes 

• Lamont Sanford : [about the gay bar]  That's the first I've ever been in a bar where all the brothers were sisters.

• Rollo Larson : I saw your old man and Bubba going into The Gay Blade.

  Lamont Sanford : C'mon Rollo, what kind of joke is this man, it ain't funny.

  Rollo Larson : [laughing]  Hey, man, I swear. I swear on a stack of Bibles this high Lamont, the two old dudes was goin' into The Gay Blade, can you get with that?

  Lamont Sanford : Look man, just because you saw them go into The Gay Blade, that don't mean nothing. Look, my father's always looking for weird places to go into. Now, he goes in there and sits at the bar and nurses a can of beer for a few hours, then he comes home and tells me about the whole thing. It don't mean nothing.

  Rollo Larson : Hey, they wasn't at the bar.

  Lamont Sanford : [worried]  Well, where were they?

  Rollo Larson : They was tucked away in a corner.

  Lamont Sanford : Well, they probably just wanted to get a better view of the place, that's all.

  Rollo Larson : And they was wearin' dark glasses.

  Lamont Sanford : [sicing his finger]  Hey look, Rollo, you talkin' about my old man, now.

  Rollo Larson : Hey baby, look here, I'm just tellin' you what I saw!

  Lamont Sanford : And as far as Bubba's concerned, Bubba's been married twice.

  Rollo Larson : Yeah, you know what they say too: 'If you can't hold a job, you change the line of work'.

  Lamont Sanford : You ain't wrapped too tight, Rollo.

• Rollo Larson : It was supposed to be a skin flick classic

  Lamont Sanford : Yeah, well, it was the worst movie I ever seen, man, it was rotten and disgusting. I wouldn't take no girl to see it, I don't know why you took me.

  Rollo Larson : Well, how come you wanted to see it twice then?

  Lamont Sanford : Well, because I couldn't believe it the first time.

• Lamont Sanford : I should have known better than to go see a movie with a title like 'Deep Lips'.

• Lamont Sanford : [Exiting The Gay Blade which he and Rollo walked into by accident]  Well, you battin' a thousand tonight, Rollo.

• Fred G. Sanford : What are you doing combing your hair?

  Lamont Sanford : What kind of question is that? Why does anybody comb their hair?

  Fred G. Sanford : Well, you just going to a job.

  Lamont Sanford : Pop, just because I work in junk don't mean I have to look like it. Now I come in contact with a lot of people out there in the street, you know.

  Fred G. Sanford : Oh, I see what you mean. Like, in case, you ran into one of those nice interesting females, huh?

  Lamont Sanford : [smiling]  In case I should run into whoever. See ya, Pop

  [leaves] 

  Fred G. Sanford : [concerned]  It's that whoever that worries me.

• Lamont Sanford : I've already seen your skin flicks, Rollo.

  Rollo Larson : Say, but this one is different, Lamont. It's called 'The Mile High Club'. It's all about these three hundred and fifty swingin' couples in the baggage compartment of a 747.

• Lamont Sanford : Say, Pop?

  Fred G. Sanford : Yeah?

  Lamont Sanford : Uh, you didn't go to that movie with Bubba like you said you was, did you.

  Fred G. Sanford : No.

  Lamont Sanford : Well, where did you go?

  Fred G. Sanford : Out. Now I'm in. Now, I'm going up and lay down.

• Lamont Sanford : [Over the closing credits]  'Sanford and Son' is recorded on tape before a live studio audience.