- Reverend Jesse Jackson: [during the 1988 Democratic presidential debates] We have come a long way; from the field house to the big house, from the big house to the White House ,
- [loses his train of thought]
- Reverend Jesse Jackson: uh, to the outhouse, uh...
- The Phantom of the Update: And now, here to set sail on the boundless ocean of ignorance in a lifeboat of oversimplification is A. Whitney Brown with the Big Picture.
- Chin Hua: I am the one they call Chin Hua.
- Master Thespian: What? You're Chin Hua? I, I, I thought you were Chinese?
- Chin Hua: Make-Up.
- Master Thespian: But how do you account for your height?
- Chin Hua: Acting!
- Master Thespian: Genius!
- Chin Hua: Thank you!
- [takes a bow and Master Thespian follows suit]