Saturday Night Live (TV Series)

Teri Garr/Mick Fleetwood's Zoo (1983)

Joe Piscopo: Various

Quotes 

• Marilyn Monroe : Who told you to sign that treaty anyway?

  John F. Kennedy : Eh... eh, well, eh... eh, Angie, eh, Dickinson, Marilyn.

  Marilyn Monroe : And you listened to her?

  John F. Kennedy : Well, I'm sorry, Marilyn, I'm just the kind of man who, eh, needs, eh, lots and lots of...

  [coughs] 

  John F. Kennedy : ... advisors.

  Marilyn Monroe : Huh. And my research is not enough? Oh boy.

  [sighs] 

  Marilyn Monroe : Did Arthur Miller need more people when I rewrote "Death of a Salesman"? Or Joe DiMaggio, when I corrected his batting stance?

  [performs said batting stance] 

  John F. Kennedy : Oh boy, Marilyn, eh... heh, what a stance that was, huh?

• Marilyn Monroe : Oh, Mr. President, I'm ready to do it.

  John F. Kennedy : Fine, fine, now how do I handle this Berlin crisis?

  [picks up a folder as Marilyn puts on her spectacles] 

• Abraham Lincoln : [arriving late at Ford's Theatre]  Sorry I'm late, guys, but I was freeing some Negroes!

  [laughs loudly at his own joke]