Quotes
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Dr. Christopher Turk : Baby, tell her to put the cane down.
Nurse Carla Espinosa : Mama!
[something in Spanish]
Mother : No!
Dr. Christopher Turk : Tell her to put the cane down!
Nurse Carla Espinosa : [to Turk] She doesn't want me to have men here because I'm unmarried.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Well tell her I needed a place to crash; she doesn't have to know we had sex all night.
Nurse Carla Espinosa : She speaks English!
Dr. Christopher Turk : Then what the hell are you translating for?
Nurse Carla Espinosa : Because you don't speak Spanish!
Dr. Christopher Turk : Oh!
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Dr. Elliot Reid : Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?
Dr. Christopher Turk : [exasperated] 'In a better place', 'look different', 'feel good', 'kay? That's what usually happens when you see a shrink.
Dr. Elliot Reid : My patient happens to be a therapist, I'm not 'seeing a shrink.'
Dr. Christopher Turk : [placating her] Okay.
Dr. Elliot Reid : [lowering voice] And I would appreciate it if you'd stop spreading around embarrassing rumors like that.
Dr. Christopher Turk : Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm just goofing around. Besides, the last thing I want to do is upset a crazy lady.
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Dr. Elliot Reid : Hey--hey, Turk, can I talk to y-...
Dr. Christopher Turk : No, you can't; that's why they're called YOUR problems!