Scrubs (TV Series)

My Monster (2002)

Sarah Chalke: Dr. Elliot Reid

Quotes 

• Dr. Bob Kelso : [enters the on-call room and finds Elliot in her PJs, lying on one of the beds]  Dr Reid? What are you doing in here?

  Dr. Elliot Reid : [covers herself in haste]  Uhm... Sir, hi, Dr Kelso. I was just... uhm... I... uhm... I was on call.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : Well, I have the call sheet right here and your name doesn't seem to be on it... But what do I know? I'm just a kindly old man who doesn't know the difference between a doctor on call and one who maybe just needs a warm bed for the night.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh, I've just been so swamped with work I couldn't even make time to find a new place.

  Dr. Bob Kelso : I understand. Life is hard and all that... But, if you want a bed in my hospital you better have a damn rent check or a massive coronary in the next five seconds! And believe me, missy... either one's fine with me.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Thank you, sir...?

  Dr. Bob Kelso : No problem.

• Elliot : My life is a mess!

  J.D. : At least you're pretty.

  Elliot : Yeah, well, pretty don't pay the rent!

  Carla : It does for my sister.

  Elliot : Oh, my God, your sister's a prostitute?

  Carla : She's a model. Come on, Elliot, we talked about thinking before we speak.

• Elliot : Sir, my father cut me off...

  Dr. Kelso : Dr. Reid, this is not "Bring Your Problems to Work" Day. This is just "Work" Day.

• Elliot : [Elliot is giving J.D. a physical]  Any shortness of breath, nausea or burning sensation while peeing?

  J.D. : No, no, and... does it count when it whistles?

  Elliot : Funny. Are you currently sexually active?

  J.D. : Oh, it's active all right.

  Elliot : I'll write rare dry spell in the margin.

• Dr. Elliot Reid : Huh! I put all those fliers up, and nobody wants me to live with them!

  J.D. : Oh, come on, Elliot. I'm sure you'll eventually find a roommate who's a

  [reading] 

  J.D. : clean, non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower thoroughly after each usage.

  Dr. Elliot Reid : Oh, well, if you don't, it gets mildewy.