Scrubs (TV Series)

My Old Friend's New Friend (2004)

John C. McGinley: Dr. Perry Cox

Quotes 

• J.D. : Come on, man, it's our last week together! The J.D. and Cox train is pulling into the station. You must have a metaphor you want to use; hit me with it!

  Dr. Cox : I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh... Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, 'The O.C.', the U.N., recycling, getting Punk'd, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything - eve - everything that exists - past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions. Oh! And Hugh Jackman.

• Carla : Dr Cox, can i borrow you for a minute?

  Dr. Cox : Borrow me? Dearheart you are rescuing me. Newbie you're on your own- get used to it

• Dr. Cox : I sure hope you're comfortable in that bed, because you're gonna be in one just like it for the rest of your natural born life.

  J.D. : What the hell was that?

  Dr. Cox : That was me talking to a patient who has thrown in the towel. You can't save everyone, Newbie, so I suggest you start working with people who want your help. That's what I will be doing.

• J.D. : I just want you to know I'm not ready to give up on Mr. Radford.

  Dr. Cox : Do you want me to give you my "things I don't care about" speech again? Because, you know, I've updated it to include all white guys who add -izzle to anything.

  J.D. : I agrizzle, my nizzle.

  Dr. Cox : Go on home and get in bed, will ya. I'm betting your friend Mr. Radford's already in his. I'll see ya.

• Dr. Cox : [when Turk and JD huged each other after Turk just came back from his Honeymoon]  Oh wo, wo. What do we have here? The newlyweds... oh and hey Carla. Mark my words he first year of marriage is just a real treat!

  [to Jordan] 

  Dr. Cox : Sweetheart, do you remember ours?

  Jordan : The silly fighting for control!

  Dr. Cox : You broke my jaw!

  Jordan : You gotta stop that back-talk early. Come on, glass jaw.

• Dr. Cox : Good God, Fantasia. You - you don't actually think I'm done teaching you, do you? D'you not understand the only difference between today and tomorrow is that you wake up tomorrow and start coming in here and killing people, that no one can say, "It's no big deal, he's just a resident." Instead, what they're damn sure gonna be wondering is who tried to educate your sorry ass. And when that finger of blame starts pointing in my direction, I had damn sure better be in a coma from the anger stroke I suffered from the last time you tried to hug me. Oh, and, uh, don't be late tomorrow... Doctor.