Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Marine Biologist (1994)
Michael Richards: Kramer
Quotes
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[last lines]
George : The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
Jerry : Mammal.
George : Whatever.
Kramer : Well, what did you do next?
George : Well then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him - face to face with the blowhole. I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me, but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction.
[George dramatically reveals the obstruction to be a golf ball]
Kramer : [somewhat embarrassed] ... What is that, a Titleist?
[George nods]
Kramer : A hole in one, huh?
Jerry : Well, the crowd most have gone wild!
George : Oh, yes they did, Jerry - they were all over me. It was like Rocky 1. Diane came up to me, threw her arms around me, and kissed me. We both had tears streaming down our faces. I never saw anyone so beautiful. It was at that moment I decided to tell her I was not a marine biologist!
Jerry : Wow! What'd she say?
George : She told me to go to hell, and I took the bus home.
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Kramer : [Kramer has come back from a botched excursion of golfing on the beach; angry high-pitched voice] I *STINK!*
