- Jerry Seinfeld: What did you do to my car?
- George Costanza: I couldn't help it! Elaine moved the mirror, I got discombobulated.
- Elaine Benes: Oh, like you've ever been bobulated.
- [last lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: People will kill each other for a parking space in New York, because they think, "If I don't get this one, I may never get a space. I'll be circling for months until somebody goes out to the Hamptons." I think because everybody in New York City knows there's gotta be way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. It's like musical chairs, except everybody sat down around 1964. The problem is car manufacturers are building hundreds of thousands of new cars every year. They're not making any new spaces. That's what they should be working on. Wouldn't that be great? You go to the auto show, and they've got that big revolving turntable, and there's nothing on it. New from Chrysler, a space.
- George Costanza: A garage, I can't even pull in there. It's like going to a prostitute. Why should I pay, when if I apply myself, maybe I can get it for free?
- Newman: You wanna know why you can't go in front-first? I'll tell you why, because it signals a breakdown in the social order. Chaos! It reduces us to jungle law!
- [George claps in approval]
- [first lines]
- Jerry Seinfeld: Parking lots now, they have this "compact car only" spot. Isn't that discrimination against the size of your car? Yeah! If I want my ass hanging out of the back of my parking spot, that's my business. There are people out there with real asses hanging out of their pants. Nobody's stopping them. Nobody goes, "Hey, hold it, sir. Those are compact jeans. You can't pull that in there."
- George Costanza: All bald people look good in hats.
- Elaine Benes: You should have lived in the twenties and thirties. You know, men wore hats all the time, then.
- George Costanza: What a bald paradise that must have been.