- [first lines]
- Ted Meyerson: [as pretty young woman alights from town car] Cheryl!
- Cheryl Williams: Hi, Ted!
- [extends hand]
- Ted Meyerson: Oh, you look good enough to devour!
- [kisses her]
- Ted Meyerson: Mm. My best queen ever!
- Cheryl Williams: Oh!
- [big smile]
- Cheryl Williams: It's been the most fantastic year of my life.
- Ted Meyerson: [raises eyebrows] It's not over yet, sweetheart.
- Dana Barclay: Cheryl! I hope you had a good flight.
- Cheryl Williams: [shakes hands] Perfect, thank you, as always.
- Sonny Carlisle: [grumpily] Pardon me, Ted, what kind of a burg did you book us into this year?
- Ted Meyerson: Hey, listen to this guy? Palm Beach, a burg? This is the watering hole for the rich and the raunchy!
- Dana Barclay: Sonny has been complaining for twelve years.
- [kisses him on the cheek]
- Dana Barclay: Haven't you, Sonny?
- [rubs his cheek]
- Cheryl Williams: [with smile] Maybe it's time he got another job.
- Sonny Carlisle: I will die MC-ing this pageant, baby, though you're history at the end of the week.
- Cheryl Williams: [with aggressive smile] That's what you think.
- Ted Meyerson: Hey, hey, what's wrong with you two? Now come on. This is all about love and beauty.
- [has an arm around them both]
- Ted Meyerson: It's my pageant, kids. I won't have any fights.
- Betty Lou Biggs: [blonde bombshell in very revealing low-cut red dress] Mr. Meyerson! Oh!
- Ted Meyerson: [as he shakes her hand] Well, who do we have here?
- Betty Lou Biggs: Betty Lou Biggs, I'm a contestant.
- Ted Meyerson: Of course. How are you, Betty Lou?
- Dana Barclay: Betty Lou, you're early. You're supposed to arrive tomorrow with the other girls.
- Betty Lou Biggs: I couldn't wait.
- [breathless:]
- Betty Lou Biggs: I was too excited.
- Dana Barclay: But we don't have a *room* for you.
- Ted Meyerson: Get one!
- [takes Cheryl by the arm]
- Ted Meyerson: This way, Miss Dixie Belle.
- Dana Barclay: This way, Betty Lou.
- [drags her off]
- Ted Meyerson: [to Cheryl] Your suite's next to mine. You ready for tonight?
- Cheryl Williams: I'm always ready, Teddy.
- [strokes his lapel with her elegant finger]
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: So, what have you got?
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: A major case of the creepy crawlies. I mean, you could body-dip Ted Meyerson into a vat of disinfectant and he'd still come out dirty.
- Sonny Carlisle: Hi.
- [lame pick-up line:]
- Sonny Carlisle: I'll bet, uh, you move very well.
- Betty Lou Biggs: I'm afraid I'm not a very good dancer, Mr. Carlisle.
- Sonny Carlisle: Oh, that doesn't matter. Maybe we could do a number together.
- Betty Lou Biggs: I think you're doing one on me right now.
- Sonny Carlisle: [chuckles] You know, you're pretty sharp, that's cute!
- [his hand on her bare shoulder]
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: [arrives, interrupts] Sonny, that's a beautiful ring. You... you get this through the pageant?
- Sonny Carlisle: Yeah, yeah, Ted gives them out. I got one for every finger.
- Betty Lou Biggs: Hi, Mr. Lawton.
- [much fluttering of eyelashes]
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: [playing the big movie star] Hello.
- Sonny Carlisle: Well, you'll excuse me, won't you? I can see that you're partial to judges.
- Betty Lou Biggs: [as Sonny walks away] Creep. Thank you for interrupting.
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: Well, the rules clearly say "no messing with the girls."
- Betty Lou Biggs: Not in public, anyway. I'd love to talk to you about acting. Maybe... uh, tonight after curfew, you and I could do an improvisation together? I'm in Room 8 - 25.
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: Uh, you see, the rules also state that no one is to enter a contestant's room without proper authorization. And there is a, uh... security chaperone at every comtestant's door.
- Betty Lou Biggs: Not every judges'.
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: Well, uh, that's a good point.
- Betty Lou Biggs: Mr. Meyerson, I am *so* sorry.
- Ted Meyerson: We are all upset, Betty Lou.
- Betty Lou Biggs: Who could have done such an evil thing?
- Ted Meyerson: Well, that's exactly what Sergeant...
- [turns to Rita]
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: Lance.
- Ted Meyerson: ...Lance is here to find out, and don't you worry,
- [holds her hand]
- Ted Meyerson: everything is under control, we've doubled security, and I'm sure the police...
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: You're going on with the contest?
- Ted Meyerson: This is not a contest, Sergeant. It's a pageant. It's steeped in tradition. We must continue.
- [Betty smiles and Rita nods]
- Ted Meyerson: We've got television coverage, sponsors who have bought time, and a lot of money at stake. *My* money.
- Betty Lou Biggs: It's too late to cancel the pageant anyway. The girls are here.
- Dana Barclay: [wearily] They are?
- Betty Lou Biggs: Some of the girls just began arriving...
- Dana Barclay: Excuse me...
- [rushes off]
- Ted Meyerson: You have to excuse me, Sergeant, I have the flower of Dixie beauty to attend to.
- [Betty Lou stares attentively after him]
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: Guess we know what the priorities are.
- [Betty Lou still stands at rapt attention for Meyerson]
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: Uh... Betty Lou, right?
- Betty Lou Biggs: Yes.
- [smiles]
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: Uh... do you know Cheryl Williams?
- Betty Lou Biggs: [shakes her head] No, Sergeant, I saw her briefly in the lobby last night when I arrived.
- [shakes her head]
- Betty Lou Biggs: She was such a stunning girl.
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: Right, yeah...
- [with faked enthusiasm]
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: I *love* the color of your hair.
- Betty Lou Biggs: Well, thanks.
- [big smile, preens]
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: [faked interest] Do you do it yourself?
- Betty Lou Biggs: Uh, no. It's all natural. What you see is what you get.
- [chuckles coyly]
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: Yeah...
- [fakes big grin]
- Sgt. Rita Lee Lance: I'll bet.
- Geno: [grabs her by the arm] I waited after rehearsal. I thought we were gonna do a private session.
- Betty Lou Biggs: Move off, Geno! You couldn't get lucky in a cathouse
- [shakes him off]
- Betty Lou Biggs: with a fistful of fifties!
- Betty Lou Biggs: [dress fitting] Can't this come down a little more?
- Dana Barclay: [exasperated] Betty Lou, I've already told you. Bust lines have to be uniform. Nobody gets an unfair advantage.
- Betty Lou Biggs: [admires herself in the mirror] I was born with an unfair advantage.
- [adjusts bust line]
- Betty Lou Biggs: If you've got it... Flaunt it!
- Betty Lou Biggs: [surprised Chris in the shower] You wash my back, I'll wash yours.
- [wet T-shirt gets even wetter]
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: Betty Lou...
- [tries to show he's a decent man]
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: I like you, you know that, don't you?
- Betty Lou Biggs: Oh, I like you too, baby.
- [chuckles]
- Betty Lou Biggs: I like you a lot.
- [puts her arms around his neck]
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: But, look, we can't... we can't do this...
- [shakes his head]
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: can't have it...
- Betty Lou Biggs: Are you turning me down?
- Sgt. Chris Lorenzo: No, I'm not turning you down... Look, I'm putting you on hold till after the contest.