- Marge Simpson: I can't count how many times your father's done something crazy like this.
- Lisa Simpson: It's 300, Mom.
- Marge Simpson: I could have sworn it was 302.
- Lisa Simpson: Shhh!
- Viagrogaine Announcer: [At the end of a commercial for a combination hair restorer/penis enlarger] Possible side effects include loss of scalp and penis.
- Homer Simpson: What did it say about my scalp?
- Homer: I've been carrying this bag of sugar to represent a baby, and...
- [sees he is holding a real baby]
- Homer: Wha...? Where the hell's my sugar?
- [cut to Cletus and his wife with a sugar-bag in baby clothes]
- Cletus: Condoleeza-Marie ain't too peppy today.
- Brandine: And I don't remember her bein' this granulated.
- Dia-Betty: Can I put your baby in my coffee?
- Cletus: Well, the doctor said if you eat any more babies, they gonna take yer foot.
- Marge Simpson: [notices Homeless guy] Here's 5 dollars, go buy yourself a suit.
- Bum: [takes the money] Yeh I'll buy a suit... OF DRUGS! MUHAHAHA
- [TV executives want Homer for a TV ad about bald and impotent men]
- Homer: Well, I am bald and important!
- Tony Hawk: I hope you don't mind living below a bunch of pro skaters that like to party.
- Bart: I'll adjust.
- Tony Hawk: Hey, blink-182.
- Thomas DeLonge: We have names, you know.
- Tony Hawk: Whatever. You can crank it up.
- Mark Hoppus: Dude, let's trash this place.
- Travis Barker: *After* we get paid.
- Mark Hoppus: Nice!
- Bart Simpson: I want to be emancipated!
- Homer Simpson: Emancipated? Why do you want that? Don't you like being a dude?