The Simpsons (TV Series)

Flaming Moe's (1991)

Hank Azaria: Drederick Tatum, Moe Szyslak, Paparazzo, Quimby's Aide, Professor Frink, Delivery Man

Quotes 

• Moe : Moe's Tavern.

  Bart : Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass, first name Hugh.

  Moe : Hold on, I'll check.

  [calls] 

  Moe : Hugh Jass! Hey, I want a Hugh Jass! Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass!

  Hugh Jass : Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.

  Moe : Telephone.

  Hugh Jass : Hello, this is Hugh Jass.

  Bart : Uh, hi.

  Hugh Jass : Who's this?

  Bart : Bart Simpson.

  Hugh Jass : What can I do for you, Bart?

  Bart : Uh, look, I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta back-fired, and I'd like to bail out right now.

  Hugh Jass : All right. Better luck next time.

  [hangs up] 

  Hugh Jass : What a nice young man.

• Mayor Quimby : Hence forth this day shall forever be known as: Flaming Moe's Day.

  Quimby's Aide : Ah, sir, this is already Veteran's Day.

  Mayor Quimby : It can be two things!

• Professor Frink : All right, according to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is... love? Who's been screwing with this thing?

• Moe : Don't worry, I learned how to make plenty of drinks at bartending school.

  [reading off an old mixed drink recipe list] 

  Moe : Gin and... tonic? Do they mix?

• Moe : People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn't for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine.

• Moe : He may have come up with the recipe, but I came up with the idea of charging $6.95 for it.

• Kent Brockman : [In the introduction to an 'Eye on Springfield' episode]  And we visit with heavyweight champion Drederick Tatum who reminisces about growing up in Springfield.

  Drederick Tatum : That town is a dump. If you ever see me back there, you know I really

  [beeped out expletive] 

  Drederick Tatum : bad.