The Simpsons (TV Series)

Lisa's Rival (1994)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Todd Flanders, Ralph Wiggum

Quotes 

• Ralph : My cat's breath smells like cat food.

• Ralph : I bent my wookie.

• Lisa : [Lisa turns a fan on to demonstrate a snow storm over her complete diarama. It promptly tilts, then blows out the window]  Is it okay?

  Bart Simpson : [looks out the window, then turns back to Lisa]  The important thing is that we survived.

• Bart Simpson : [in small tape recorder]  Note for later. Put rubber spider down Lisa's dress.

  [laughs at that, clicks tape player off and then hesitates a few seconds, and then turns the recorder back on to laugh a few more times] 

• Bart : Lis, can you keep it down? I'm in the middle of a crank call here.

  Principal Skinner : [on phone]  Actually, my refrigerator *wasn't* running. You've saved me quite a bit of spoilage. Thank you, anonymous young man.

• Bart : [after her diorama blows out the window, Lisa is sure she will lose to Alison unless she does something. Consoling her, Bart draws up a plan]  Tomorrow morning when Alison steps out of her house, we spray her with the hose, soaking her head to foot, well leaving us relatively dry.

  Lisa : Relatively?

  Bart : Well, there's bound to be some splash back.

  Lisa : Bart, her being wet isn't going to help me win the contest!

  Bart : [slyly]  Well, we could sabotage her diorama, making her look bad in front of the entire school.

  Lisa : [positively gleeful]  Perfect!

  Bart : And leaving her with the most dramatic soaking of her life!

  Lisa : Enough with the hose!

• Bart Simpson : I couldn't find much on our rivalry, but I did manage to get Millhouse on America's Most Wanted.

  Agent 1# : [driving toward school sees Millhouse playing on monkey bars]  There he is on the monkey bars. Try to take him out alive.

  [the other FBI guy jams the gas pedal down and heads right towards the monkey bars. Many other children stat to flee while screaming] 

  Milhouse Van Houten : Oh no! Not again.

  [jumps off just in time as the car smashes into them, causing them to break into a dozen parts]