- Elderly Man: [in front of a casket] You did a real good job on her.
- David: Well, we do our best.
- Elderly Man: If there's any justice in the universe, she's shoveling shit in hell right now.
- Keith Charles: We'll get through this.
- David: Yeah, I'll be the strong one, the stable one, the dependable one, because that's what I do. And everyone around me will fall apart. 'Cause that's what they do.
- Keith Charles: Hey. Don't you ever get exhausted being so hard on everyone, and yourself?
- David: [sigh] Shut up.
- Nathaniel Fisher: Well, well. The prodigal returns. This is what you've been running away from your whole life, buddy boy. Scared the crap out of you when you were growing up, didn't it? And you thought you'd escape, well guess what, nobody escapes.
- Brenda: So... how's it going?
- Nate Fisher: Oh, it's great... great. My father's dead, my mom's a whore, my brother wants to kill me, and my sister's smoking crack. I think I win.
- Nate Fisher: Look, I have to go identify our dead father's body. I'm sorry you're having a bad drug experience, but deal with it.
- Brenda: Well, here's my number if you ever want to, you know, go out on a real date. You know where you buy me dinner before I put out.
- Nathaniel Fisher: [David is covering his father's wounds with wound filler, as he looks on disapprovingly] Oh, no. You're doing me? You're the worst one we've got.
- David: [monotone] Thanks, Dad.
- Nathaniel Fisher: [frantic] Where's Federico?
- David: It's Christmas morning. He's with his wife and kids. He'll be in later.
- Nathaniel Fisher: [impatient] Ooh, couldn't this wait? I don't want you ruining my face.
- David: It's a little late for that.
- Nathaniel Fisher: Not funny.
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- Commercial Announcer: [voiceover, as camera tracks slowly over a handsome reclining body] For a body that's firm, yet flexible. For skin that begs to be touched. For the velvety appearance of actual living tissue. Top morticians rely on Living Splendor embalming fluid. Living Splendor. Only real life is better.