- E. Ronald Mallou, Esq.: [referring to Danny, Jodie, Chuck-Bob, and Bert] I have for character witnesses Al Capone, Tinkerbell, Punch and Judy, and the Invisible Man.
- Jessica Tate: All my life, people have always believed me. See, I have that kind of face. My mother once said to me "Jessica, with a face like that you could get away with murder."
- E. Ronald Mallou, Esq.: Y'see, I usually rely on putting my clients on the stand to testify in their own defense. But I mean, in this case, put her on the stand? Might as well strap her in, shave her head, and attach the electrodes right there!
- Burt Campbell: You see, it was while I was invisible.
- E. Ronald Mallou, Esq.: Oh. Uh, thank you, Mr. Campbell.
- [privately to Mr. Tate]
- E. Ronald Mallou, Esq.: Teriffic. Invisible? Put him on the stand, we might as well throw a bag over her head and tell the squad to fire right there!
- Chester Tate: Mr. Mallu, I, uh, can't testify.
- E. Ronald Mallou, Esq.: Why not?
- Chester Tate: Well, my ex-mistress may report some illegal stock manipulation to the SEC. Actually, in a few days I may be needing your help. I was wondering, do you have family rates?
- Dr. Medlow: I've never seen that before - invisible.
- Mary Campbell: What can be done?
- Dr. Medlow: Well, in the movie Claude Rains covered himself with a bandage from heat to foot and wore sunglasses.
- Jessica Tate: Corinne, love does not come from sharing the same body, love comes from sharing the same lifetime.