- Paul Lassiter: Can't believe they called off our softball game, last night.
- Carter Heywood: Yea, that's a shame.
- Mike Flaherty: Hey, nice game last night everybody. Carter clutch hit in the seventh.
- Paul Lassiter: [disappointed] Well, there sounds like there was a game last night.
- Mike Flaherty: No, you know, as a matter of fact, they... they cancelled the rest of the season. Everybody else, our book club meets tonight at seven. On field three.
- Mike Flaherty: [James's skin is red, and he's nearly blind trying to keep Mike and Nikki's relationship secret] Nikki, would you mind running some fundraising projections for next month?
- Nikki Faber: Sure, no problem. You want 'em on disk or hard copy?
- James Hobert: How 'bout humping naked on the floor so everyone can see you've been secretly dating Mike for months?
- [the staff are shocked. Cut to James, who instantly looks healthy again]
- James Hobert: GOD, that felt good!
- James Hobert: Mike, my body isn't equipped for keeping secrets. I mean, look at me, look at my arms and neck: I'm totally breaking out!
- Mike Flaherty: You can't tell.
- James Hobert: Really? It's not that bad?
- Mike Flaherty: Oh, the rash? No, the rash is hideous. I mean the secret. You can't tell. You can't tell anyone, not now, not ever, I'm sorry.