Star Trek: Voyager (TV Series)

Virtuoso (2000)

Robert Picardo: The Doctor

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Seven of Nine : I have something for you.

  The Doctor : What is it?

  Seven of Nine : Fan mail.

  The Doctor : Delete it. I don't want to read another word.

  Seven of Nine : Then I'll read it for you.

  The Doctor : Seven...

  Seven of Nine : [reads]  "Dear Doctor. I regret that your last performance was not as successful as you'd hoped. There are still those who appreciate your unique talents, and admire you as an individual. I'll always consider myself your loyal fan."

  The Doctor : Who's it from?

  Seven of Nine : It's signed, "Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01."

  [Seven hands the Doctor the PADD and leaves sickbay. The Doctor reads through it again, then starts singing "I've Been Working on the Railroad"] 

• [the Doctor is inspecting the building in which he is to give a recital] 

  The Doctor : If you consider the height of the average Qomar, it's obvious that anyone seated in the back five rows will have an obstructed view.

  B'Elanna Torres : You're right. They won't be able to see anything but the top of your head. The glare could blind them.

  The Doctor : [to Tincoo]  You'll have to excuse Lieutenant Torres. Her appreciation of music is limited to a smattering of Klingon drinking songs.

• The Doctor : While we're at it, Lieutenant, I'll need some help with my wardrobe.

  B'Elanna Torres : I'm an engineer, not a costume designer.

• B'Elanna Torres : You wanted to see me?

  The Doctor : I need your clearance code to delete my medical database.

  B'Elanna Torres : You sure you want to do that? If you give one of your fans a heart attack, you won't be able to resuscitate him.

• Abarca : When we agreed to be examined by this ship's medical officer, we didn't know that you were a primitive computer matrix.

  The Doctor : [irritated]  I assure you, there is nothing primitive about me.

  Abarca : [Abarca sneers]  Hm!

  The Doctor : I am programmed to perform more than five million medical procedures.

  Abarca : Does that include bloodletting?

  The Doctor : No, but I'll be happy to add it to my repertoire.

• The Doctor : I wish I had a subroutine to eliminate pre-show jitters.

• The Doctor : I'm just a little... nervous.

  Tincoo : Why?

  The Doctor : I'm about to expose your entire culture to music for the first time. The responsibility is... enormous.

  Tincoo : Your performance tonight will be transmitted to hundreds of hundreds of millions of people.

  Tincoo : Is that supposed to HELP me relax?

• Captain Janeway : Well, in any case, you've been neglecting your sickbay duties. I haven't received a report in three days.

  The Doctor : Oh, come now, Kathryn, it's not as though there's been a flood of medical emergencies.

  Captain Janeway : I wasn't aware we were on a first-name basis.

  The Doctor : I-I meant "Captain." I'm sorry.

  Captain Janeway : Oh, it's perfectly all right, Doctor - or do you prefer "Maestro?"

  The Doctor : [laughs, flattered]  Oh, ho-ho, please. Either is acceptable.

  Captain Janeway : Well, then, let me make it clear to both of you: Maestro, you're finished for today. Doctor, report to sickbay - now.

• Tincoo : By any mathematical standard, the medical care of 150 people cannot compare to the cultural enrichment of millions.

  The Doctor : You can't always explain things with an equation, Tincoo.

• [the Doctor has decided to leave Voyager in favor of his singing career] 

  The Doctor : I feel I've accomplished all I can here. Oh, there's the occasional medical mystery that challenges my programming, but mostly, it's become routine. And frankly, I feel my talents are often taken for granted. But when I'm standing on that stage performing, and I see those rapt faces in the audience... I feel I finally know what it's like to be made of flesh and blood.

  Seven of Nine : You simply crave attention, applause, fan mail.

  The Doctor : What if I do?

  Seven of Nine : Those things are irrelevant.

  The Doctor : To you, maybe, but to me, it makes me feel appreciated... even loved - not for what I've been programmed to do; but for who I've become.

• Tom Paris : Doc - you're not really gonna do this, are you?

  The Doctor : I would have thought you of all people would be glad to see me go.

  Tom Paris : Are you kidding? Who am I gonna torment after you're gone?

• The Doctor : I plan to segue from Don Juan to Rigoletto in the blink of an eye. It will be a triumph of...

  B'Elanna Torres : Arrogance and self-absorption?

  [the Doctor gives her a scowling look] 

  B'Elanna Torres : Just trying to help.

• Tincoo : [speaking slowly, as if she's talking to someone who speaks a different language, with hand gestures]  We are ready to return to our ship. Could you contact one of your superiors?

  The Doctor : Doctor to the Captain. Please report to Sickbay.

  Captain Janeway : Already on my way.

  The Doctor : [speaking slowly, only in his case, as if he's speaking to someone incredibly stupid]  The Captain is coming here now. If you want to talk to her, you can have a seat.

  Tincoo : [he stalks off. Tincoo moves to join Abarca]  It is a very irritating program.

  Abarca : Maybe we can disable its speech subroutines.

  The Doctor : You're not authorized to do that!

• The Doctor : Thank you. You're very kind. That was a selection from the opera Don Carlos, composed by Guiseppe Verdi, a towering figure in Earth's musical history. Another human musical form is called "jazz," which has flourished since the early 20th century. Mathmatically, you'll find the rhythmic structures quite interesting, particularly the use of syncopation, which is said to make the music swing. You may also notice some fascinating trigonometric functions in the counterpoint, but I suppose I'm going off on a tangent, aren't I?

  [Abarca laughs aloud] 

  The Doctor : So, without further ado, I give you Harry Kim and the Kimtones.

• Captain Janeway : What's this?

  The Doctor : A formal request to be reinstated.

  Captain Janeway : So you've taken off your tails and put them between your legs.

• Tincoo : Yeah our crewmates don't seem to appreciate your abilities.

  The Doctor : You've noticed that, too.

  Tincoo : That must be very frustrating for you.

  The Doctor : You have no idea.

• The Doctor , Seven of Nine : I know it'll be hard for you when I'm gone.

  Seven of Nine : I will adapt.