Tales from the Crypt (TV Series)

Fitting Punishment (1990)

John Kassir: Crypt Keeper

Quotes 

• Crypt Keeper : There you are sportsfiends. You know dead people like me make excellent point guards. When we can't get off a shot, we simply pass... away that is. Speaking of which, allow me to be your fearleader for tonight's half-time show. It's a putrid playlet about my personal favorite sport... being a mortician. I fittingly call it Fitting Punishment.

• Crypt Keeper : Well, looks like old Ezra learned that raising a teen is no walk in the graveyard. Now he's gonna need one of his cheap coffins for himself. That's what he gets for having a name like Ezra. As for Bobby, he got a pretty nasty case of athlete's foot, didn't he? I mean I heard of footloose, but yikes! I guess the next best thing to making a goal is becoming a ghoul. Right, kiddies?