Tales from the Darkside (TV Series)

Deliver Us from Goodness (1986)

Kaiulani Lee: Mrs. Valeria Cantrell

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlotte Rose Cantrell : [trying to get her mother to let her wear unconventional clothes]  Mary Ann Whipple's mother wears aqua stretch pants, and an orange satin blouse that shows her cleavage.

  Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : Everyone has their own path to walk on, honey, and God gives people questionable taste in clothing sometimes, as a penance for buying polyester in a previous life.

• Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : [performing a minor *miracle*]  Do you believe me now Father ?

  Young Priest : [Astounded]  It is a miracle. You truly are a saint Mrs. Cantrell.

  Young Priest : [Proclaiming]  *Saint Mrs. Cantrell*.

• Mr. Tabbitt : [Tabbitt is a dinner guest, a potential campaign manager for Mr Cantrell's political aspirations; he addresses the Cantrell's early-teenage daughter]  What about you, little missie? What will the votin' populace of Huntsville want to know about you?

  Charlotte Rose Cantrell : I love America!

  Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : Of course you do, darlin'.

  Charlotte Rose Cantrell : A-a-and I really want to be a baton twirler for the Dallas Cowboys as soon as I get a figure worthy of national television.

• Young Priest : You, Mrs. Cantrell, are a saint. St. Mrs. Cantrell.

  Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : If this is being a saint, I... I don't want to be one.

  Young Priest : You've stopped glowing.

  Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : For the moment. It comes and goes without any warning.

  Young Priest : God works in mysterious ways.

  Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : I'm ruining my family's life! I can't be a saint. How can I be un-sainted?

  Young Priest : [scoffs]  You're not serious.

  Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : What's the worst sin a person can commit?

  Young Priest : Mrs. Cantrell, you wouldn't!

  Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : No, you've got to help me, Father. What is the worst sin?

  Young Priest : I'm a priest. I can't tell you how to sin!

  Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : All right, then. I'll figure it out myself.

  Young Priest : Mrs. Cantrell, what are you gonna do?

  Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : The Devil's work, I suppose. What other choice do I have?

• Mrs. Valeria Cantrell : I believe God respects my ability to run my house on earth, and I respect God's ability to run celestial matters.