- Charlotte Rose Cantrell: [trying to get her mother to let her wear unconventional clothes] Mary Ann Whipple's mother wears aqua stretch pants, and an orange satin blouse that shows her cleavage.
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: Everyone has their own path to walk on, honey, and God gives people questionable taste in clothing sometimes, as a penance for buying polyester in a previous life.
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: [performing a minor *miracle*] Do you believe me now Father ?
- Young Priest: [Astounded] It is a miracle. You truly are a saint Mrs. Cantrell.
- Young Priest: [Proclaiming] *Saint Mrs. Cantrell*.
- Mr. Tabbitt: [Tabbitt is a dinner guest, a potential campaign manager for Mr Cantrell's political aspirations; he addresses the Cantrell's early-teenage daughter] What about you, little missie? What will the votin' populace of Huntsville want to know about you?
- Charlotte Rose Cantrell: I love America!
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: Of course you do, darlin'.
- Charlotte Rose Cantrell: A-a-and I really want to be a baton twirler for the Dallas Cowboys as soon as I get a figure worthy of national television.
- Young Priest: You, Mrs. Cantrell, are a saint. St. Mrs. Cantrell.
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: If this is being a saint, I... I don't want to be one.
- Young Priest: You've stopped glowing.
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: For the moment. It comes and goes without any warning.
- Young Priest: God works in mysterious ways.
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: I'm ruining my family's life! I can't be a saint. How can I be un-sainted?
- Young Priest: [scoffs] You're not serious.
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: What's the worst sin a person can commit?
- Young Priest: Mrs. Cantrell, you wouldn't!
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: No, you've got to help me, Father. What is the worst sin?
- Young Priest: I'm a priest. I can't tell you how to sin!
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: All right, then. I'll figure it out myself.
- Young Priest: Mrs. Cantrell, what are you gonna do?
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: The Devil's work, I suppose. What other choice do I have?
- Mrs. Valeria Cantrell: I believe God respects my ability to run my house on earth, and I respect God's ability to run celestial matters.