Tales from the Darkside (TV Series)

Seymourlama (1987)

J.D. Roth: Seymour Strand

Quotes 

• Henry Strand : Why does he have to knit?

  Seymour Strand : Why do you collect pictures of people in dumb uniforms holding bats?

• Seymour Strand : I need a quiet house to concentrate, Dad.

  Henry Strand : Remind me to check his birth certificate, those aren't MY genes talking.

  Ellen Strand : What a nasty thing to say about your only son, and didn't he knit you that lovely sweater?

  Henry Strand : It's WARM, I'm COLD!

• Seymour Strand : If you ask me, I think it committed suicide.

  Henry Strand : That DOG led a marvelous life!

  Ellen Strand : Oh of course it did, Seymour is only joking.

  Seymour Strand : I'm surprised it didn't leave a note.

• Seymour Strand : Seymour's hungry, Seymourlama demands a hamburger, fries, onion rings, ketchup, now! Get me my food! Bring me my bowl, get me my...

  Ellen Strand : [crowding in on him]  Is his insurance paid up?

  Henry Strand : He's got 2, 3, weeks, of intensive care.