- Monica Banta: You must be Louie.
- Louie De Palma: How did you know my name?
- Monica Banta: I only had three people described to me. One was smart, one was good-looking, and one was you.
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Isn't this wonderful? What have we all learned from this? Tony's learned he can't pick who his sister's gonna fall for, Monica's learned she can't pick who she's gonna fall for, and I think I've learned the most important thing of all. I love being lifted.
- Louie De Palma: Hey, here.
- [hands a newspaper to Jeff]
- Louie De Palma: Get the air moving around me a little in here.
- Jeff Bennett: You want me to fan you? I don't think so, Louie, y'see I left my palm leaf back at the hut this morning.
- Louie De Palma: Go ahead, make it racial right away.
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: My face grows hair very fast. I shave and it seems like only a matter of days before it's back.
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Y'know Tony, I knew someone like you once.
- [walks away]
- Tony Banta: Is that all you're gonna say, Jim?
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: I think I made my point.
- Tony Banta: [to Monica] You understood that, right?
- Monica Banta: Yeah.
- Tony Banta: You two on anything?
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: Yeah, Tony. We're on threads of hope, trying to weave us a basket.
- Tony Banta: I suppose you got that one too, huh?
- Monica Banta: No, I bat about .500.
- Reverend Jim Ignatowski: That's alright, honey. I don't get 'em all either.