- Michael Kelso: Man, I wish Jackie would loosen up. She's throwing a great party down here and she's missing it!
- Fez: Kelso, you don't get it, huh? This party meant the world to Jackie, and you crapped on it.
- Steven Hyde: Alright, ease up on Kelso, huh?
- Michael Kelso: Thanks, Hyde.
- Steven Hyde: [sarcastically] Yeah, so you did something horrible. But, it's Jackie, so who cares?
- Michael Kelso: No, wait. What are you saying?
- Steven Hyde: I'm saying you burned her, man. Royally. Nice job!
- Michael Kelso: But, no, man! I didn't want to burn her! I invited all these people to her party so it would be fun! To make it good!
- Fez: She didn't want a good party. She wanted *her* party.
- Michael Kelso: You know what? You're right, Fez. Alright, this party's over! Everybody out!
- Eric Forman: No, Kelso! What are you saying, man? Think!
- Michael Kelso: You know what, guys? For the first time in my life, I think I am thinking!
- [Kelso throws his lit cigar in the trashcan]
- Michael Kelso: You know, I'm in danger of ruining the greatest thing that's ever happened to me and I am not going to let that happen.
- [Eric, Hyde and Fez bend forward to look at the trash can erupting into flames]
- Steven Hyde: Kelso...
- Michael Kelso: Do not interrupt me, this is important! From now on, I'm going to put Jackie's needs first and she's going to be *so* proud of me!
- [Hyde points to the trash can. Kelso finally notices the fire]
- Michael Kelso: Whoa!
- [Kelso foolishly pours his brandy on the fire in an attempt to put it out. Naturally, the alcoholic drink nourishes the fire]
- Michael Kelso: Whoa, man! This is a rager! Give me your brandies!
- [Kelso grabs their glasses and pours more brandy on the fire]
- Michael Kelso: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- [Jackie and Donna walk down the hallway, toward the party, unaware of the fire Kelso started]
- Jackie Burkhart: God, how dare you say that about me and Michael?
- Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, you wanted my honest opinion.
- Jackie Burkhart: Your honest opinion that we're great together! Look, you were wrong about Michael. He knows he made a mistake and he's going to make it up to me. You wait and see.
- [In Jackie's living room, "Disco Inferno" plays. Smoke fills the room, and Kelso tries unsuccessfully to put out the fire with a pillow. Jackie and Donna enter]
- Michael Kelso: Uh, Jackie, where's the fire extinguisher?
- [Jackie is shocked to see the mess Kelso made in her house. Kelso starts blowing on the fire in futile attempt to put it out]
- Jackie Burkhart: Michael, why did you do this?
- Michael Kelso: Because I thought that if a party with ten people was fun, then a party with thirty people would be twice as fun!
- Midge Pinciotti: [playing Scrabble] Well, I really have to pass. I've got nothing.
- [zoom in to her tiles, which spell "zygotes"]
- Jackie Burkhart: [Viewing Hyde and Fez with dismay] Michael, are they drinking from my parents' crystal?
- Michael Kelso: Yeah! Because they were trying to drink straight from the bottle! But I said, "No! Use the crystal, 'cause it's *classy*!"
- Midge Pinciotti: I keep telling him, if he'd grow as much hair on his head as he does on his back, he'd have a full head of hair!
- Steven Hyde: [the kids are watching TV in the basement, when Hyde comes out of his room] Hey! Hey! Can you guys, uh, keep it down a bit, please?
- Donna Pinciotti: Hyde, there's lipstick on your chin.
- Fez: Hyde, why are you putting lipstick on your chin? It's for your lips.
- Eric Forman: Hey, maybe he's got a girl back there. So, Hyde, who's the lucky lady?
- Steven Hyde: I never kiss and tell. It's Kat Peterson.
- Donna Pinciotti: Yeah, right. You're in your bedroom with the most popular girl in school.
- Fez: [sarcastically] Yeah. What happened to Farrah Fawcett? Did her car break down?
- Kat Peterson: [later, Hyde and Kat Peterson emerge from his room] So, that was fun.
- Steven Hyde: No, Disneyland is fun. That was nasty.
- [Kat gives Hyde a kiss and leaves]
- Donna Pinciotti: Oh, my God, Hyde! Kat Peterson! Nice.
- Steven Hyde: Yep. She's slummin' it, I'm lovin' it.
- Donna Pinciotti: [Reading invitation] You are hereby invited to a fabulous dinner party.
- Jackie Burkhart: The dress is semi-formal casual.
- Fez: Oh, good! Finally I can wear my tuxedo t-shirt!