- Fez: Oh, Donna. If you knew what I would do to you and your cute blond hair, you would beat the crap out of me.
- Donna Pinciotti: Well, then, I might as well beat the crap out of you anyway.
- Fez: *Yes*!
- Reginald "Red" Forman: [to Kelso] I am gonna kill you and mount your head on the TV. And if it helps me get better reception, it'll do more for me than you have your whole life!
- Jackie Burkhardt: I never thought I'd say this to someone wearing cashmere, but I don't think we can be friends.