Christopher Titus: Christopher Titus

Quotes 

• [at the hospital, after the Tituses and Fitzpatricks get into a Thanksgiving family feud] 

  Christopher Titus : Oh, Kathy. I'm so glad you're here. That's how much pain I'm in.

• [Titus has shrieked while having his shoulder relocated] 

  Dave Scouvel : Titus, this place is freaking me out. Did you just hear that little girl scream?

  Christopher Titus : [scoffing]  Yeah, what's her deal?

• [first lines] 

  Christopher Titus : Thanksgiving is a holiday that brought together two different cultures. The pilgrims came here with the best intentions. They decided to flee an oppressive people and move to a new land. Where they thrived. And became an oppressive people. You get certain people on the same continent, there's going to be a problem. Pilgrims and Indians. Protestants, Catholics. My family, anybody else's family.

• [last lines] 

  Christopher Titus : Thanksgiving is a holiday that brought together two different cultures. And things might not always work out like you think they should. But they always work out. I'm thankful that the world's in perfect harmony at all times. Pilgrims had it tough. But now, we live in the strongest, most prosperous country in the world. And the Indians, well, you know.

• Christopher Titus : 'Eating yams... Spit a pill in my hand... M-ya-cet!'