Christopher Titus: Christopher Titus

Quotes 

• [Carol has locked herself in Titus' office] 

  Christopher Titus : Now what?

  Dave Scouvel : Titus, we are not going to kill her!

  Christopher Titus : [with sarcastic reluctance]  Oh, all right.

• [Tommy has mistaken Titus' instructions about running into an old girlfriend] 

  Tommy Shafter : You said make it look like an accident.

  Christopher Titus : Not a *car* accident! Who are you? Dave?

  Dave Titus : Yeah, dumbass.

• [first lines] 

  Christopher Titus : Everybody has hope for the perfect love. Normal people are raised to believe that there is someone out there who is your soul mate, your best friend, your lover. My dad always told me that when you find that person, you got to nail her.

• [last lines] 

  Christopher Titus : Everybody has hope for the perfect love. And the truth hurts. But it's better than lies. You hear that, Noelle? Huh? I'm with Erin now. Oh yeah. And she's great. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. You know why? Because she listens to me. She doesn't go to the restaurant where she works and sleeps with the janitor because she says, "Oh, he's an artist." Yeah. And she knows a good band, too.

  [sings] 

  Christopher Titus : Motorin'! What's your price for flight? Goodnight, Fresno.