Titus (TV Series)

Tommy's Not Gay (2001)

Zack Ward: Dave Scouvel

Quotes 

• [Titus, Erin, and Dave are trying to prove that Tommy isn't gay] 

  Dave Scouvel : I'll settle this.

  Tommy Shafter : What?

  [Dave grabs Tommy and kisses him - long and hard] 

  Tommy Shafter : [disgusted]  Oh, my God!

  Dave Scouvel : Did you like that?

  Tommy Shafter : No!

  Dave Scouvel : Then you're not gay.

  Tommy Shafter : What?

  Dave Scouvel : Hey, if he's not turned on by me, he's not gay.

  Christopher Titus : [scared]  You have got to stop smoking pot.

• Dave Scouvel : Anybody who beat up a gay guy is probably gay.

  Christopher Titus : If you even *look* at your lip balm, I will punch you myself.

  Dave Scouvel : Well, that is ridiculous.

  [as Titus turns around, Dave quickly squirts breath spray into his mouth] 

  Dave Scouvel : [Titus turns back and stares menacingly at Dave] 

  [as Titus turns around, Dave quickly squirts breath spray into his mouth] 

  Christopher Titus : [Titus turns back]  *Dave*!

  [Dave squirts breath spray into Titus' mouth]