- Johnny Carson: You were one of the first people. NBC signed you...
- Milton Berle: Yes.
- Johnny Carson: To about a 30-year contract.
- Milton Berle: No - it was a lifetime contract.
- Johnny Carson: A lifetime contract.
- Milton Berle: It expired eight years ago.
- Johnny Carson: [giving fake station public service announcements] Aloha. Johnny Carson, reminding you we have a great week ahead of you here on our affiliate, KHO right here in Loud Shirt, Hawaii. Monday's celebrity spotlight, we'll take a look at Hawaiian superstar, Don Ho. Tuesday, it's Celebrity Cooks with special guest and amateur gourmet, Don Ho. Wednesday, don't miss Charity Tug-of-War, this week's opponents are the Honolulu University Marching Band versus Don Ho. Then on Saturday, don't miss Whatever Happened To... , this week profiling Jack Lord, hosted by Don Ho.
- [pause]
- Johnny Carson: Right in the dumper.
- [Ed laughs; audience applauds]
- Johnny Carson: These aren't really SERIOUS. I mean... these aren't the actual shows they're doing. It's kind of a satire.
- [to Ed]
- Johnny Carson: I'm in it now, aren't I? Once you're in it, you gotta drive right through.