Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Does This Smell Funny to You (2005)
Jon Cryer: Alan Harper
Quotes
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Alan Harper : Norman, this is Berta.
Norman : Hello.
Berta : What is this, a fix-up?
Alan Harper : No, uh, nothing like that.
Berta : That's good, because I'd probably kill him.
[to Norman]
Berta : Nothing personal, Cottontop, I just kinda like it rough.
Alan Harper : [to Norman] Have another cookie.
Berta : So, is anyone gonna tell me what's going on?
Alan Harper : Well, it's a little complicated. Charlie -
[Berta cuts him off]
Berta : Got it.
-
Berta : You got a gun?
Norman : No!
Berta : Want one?
Alan Harper : Berta!
Berta : I'm making small talk!
-
Alan Harper : [opens the front door to find Evelyn cavorting with "Uncle Norman", and blocks Jake from entering] We can't go in there right now.
Jake Harper : [eager to use the bathroom] Come on, why not?
Alan Harper : [bluntly] Because I can't afford to send you to *therapy* for the rest of your life.