Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers (2004)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Berta : Well, gadzooks! Zippy's getting his freak on!

  Charlie Harper : Yeah, it seems we're living in an age of miracles.

  Berta : I guess if they can put a man on the moon, they can put a woman on your brother. Who's the girl?

  Charlie Harper : I don't know. He met her at the supermarket. Helped her pick out corn.

  Berta : Corn ?

  [Charlie shrugs] 

  Berta : Huh. Well, I'm not in any position to judge. I once did a guy for a tank of gas.

• Charlie Harper : She knows what she's talking about, Alan. Mom's been on more hotel pillows than a chocolate mint.

• Jake Harper : Can I watch TV?

  Charlie : I don't see why not. You've got eyes and a butt.

• [first lines] 

  Alan : Hey. How do I look?

  Charlie : [not looking]  Incredible. All men want to be you, all women want to be with you.

  Alan : Can you at least look at me before you answer?

  Charlie : [looks]  I stand corrected. All men want to be with you...

• Alan : [Charlie is working out; Alan drinks from Charlie's water bottle]  What the hell is this?

  Charlie : Bourbon.

  Alan : You drink Bourbon while you work out?

  Charlie : Gin makes me sweat.

• Charlie : Mom! Thank God, you're here!

  Evelyn Harper : Oh, I don't need your sarcasm, Charlie.

• Charlie Harper : Jake, wake up.

  Charlie Harper : [Jake is still asleep]  Well, I tried.