- Ashley Burke: Quick, Carrie, do you know how to make a strawberry smoothie?
- Carrie: Sure. Why?
- Ashley Burke: Because I just told Pokey I'd make him one and I don't know how.
- Carrie: So, lying to a man to impress him?
- Ashley Burke: Is that a bad thing?
- Carrie: Yes, but we all do it.
- Ashley Burke: [while talking on the phone with Pokey] No, you hang up first. No, you. Nuh-uh, you.
- Mary-Kate Burke: Why don't I do us all a favor?
- [takes the phone and hangs it up]
- Ashley Burke: Thanks, Mary-Kate. I was running out of things to say.
- Eddie Fairbanks: Kev, you call this a toolbox: a hammer, two screwdrivers, and a steak knife?
- Kevin Burke: When did I get a hammer?
- Eddie Fairbanks: Look, buddy, if I'm gonna fix your window, I'm going to need a plane.
- Kevin Burke: Can't you use the steak knife?
- Eddie Fairbanks: I'm a plumber, not MacGyver.