Two of a Kind (TV Series)

Kevin Burke's Day Off (1999)

Christopher Sieber: Kevin Burke

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kevin Burke : [to Carrie]  Excuse me. This class I'm hurrying to get to... you're in it.

  Carrie Moore : I know. I'm not going.

  Kevin Burke : Why, don't you feel well?

  Carrie Moore : Oh, no, I feel fine. I just have been working really hard lately, so I'm giving myself a mental health day.

  [the car horn honks] 

  Kevin Burke : You're cutting all your classes? You're gonna miss my lecture.

  Carrie Moore : I'll just borrow the notes from Paul.

  Kevin Burke : Carrie, you're missing my point.

  [the car horn honks again] 

  Carrie Moore : Ashley's waiting.

  Kevin Burke : Yeah, I heard. Carrie, I just don't think you're setting a very good example for impressionable, young girls like...

  [the car horn honks again] 

  Kevin Burke : Ashley, knock it off! You're just lucky I'm not planning a pop quiz. Or am I?

  Carrie Moore : Well, I'll just have to take your class again next semester.

  Kevin Burke : Okay, no pop quiz.

• Carrie Moore : Kevin, even the President takes off the first day of baseball season.

  Kevin Burke : Yeah, well, the President does a lot of things I don't do.

• Kevin Burke : [to Carrie]  You're right. A little more fun in my life wouldn't kill me.

  Carrie Moore : Great. So do you want to try skydiving?

  Kevin Burke : No. See, that might kill me.

• Carrie Moore : [to Kevin]  Don't you want to do something spontaneous one time? Just for the fun of it?

  Kevin Burke : The last spontaneous thing I did was hire you and I'm still waiting for the fun to start.

• Carrie Moore : This is Mr. Winkie from Winkie Burger.

  Matt : Yeah, Carrie's gonna hook him up downstairs outside her front door so people can use him as an intercom.

  Kevin Burke : No, she's not. So you wasted your whole day, skipped all your classes, and all you have to show for it is a tubby burger boy?

  Carrie Moore : Hey. He's a collector's item.

  Kevin Burke : Well, why don't you put him out by the curb so they can come collect him in the morning?

• Kevin Burke : [as he reads Ashley's newspaper article]  As for the cheerleaders, their pyramid was shoddy, their splits were a joke, and you could hardly hear the cheers over the flapping of Courtney Collins' thighs.

  Ashley Burke : What do you think?

  Kevin Burke : Ashley, you can't print that.

  Ashley Burke : Why not?

  Kevin Burke : You misspelled "shoddy."