- Ashley Burke: You're my sister and my best friend. And no boy can ever change that. You know what I mean? Mary-Kate? Mary-Kate?
- Mary-Kate Burke: [sleeping and snoring]
- Mary-Kate Burke: It's a sleepover. Wait till someone falls asleep, duct tape them to the floor and tell them the house is on fire.
- Carrie Moore: [to Ashley about her slumber party] Alright, since this is the social event of the month, I say we stick with the 3 "F"s: food, facials and... phone.
- Kevin Burke: Thanks again for staying over, Carrie. Hope the fold-out couch was okay.
- Carrie Moore: The couch folds out?
- Ashley Burke: Bologna? I can't feed Jennifer Dilber bologna! What did you buy this for?
- Kevin Burke: My lunch tomorrow.
- Ashley Burke: Well, it should be in a separate bag! People, please help me out here!
- Ashley Burke: I hate you!
- Mary-Kate Burke: Why?
- Ashley Burke: You ruined my party, telling everyone you kissed a boy. It's all they wanted to talk about!
- Mary-Kate Burke: So what? It's not like I even liked the kiss. Gary had nacho breath.
- Ashley Burke: If you hated it so much, then why did you keep talking about it?
- Mary-Kate Burke: Because they kept asking me about it!
- Ashley Burke: Yeah, well, now all my friends like you better than me. My life is ruined!
- Mary-Kate Burke: Your life is ruined? Yeah, well, what about me? I can't eat nachos anymore!
- Kevin Burke: [to Carrie] Are you going to eat all my toppings?
- Carrie Moore: Hey, it's a slumber party. I have a sacred obligation as a girl to pig out!
- Kevin Burke: I used to be able to do that. Then, for my 30th birthday, God slipped a tire around my waist, but go ahead. Enjoy!
- Carrie Moore: [to Ashley] Hey, you okay?
- Ashley Burke: Yeah... except my life is ruined.
- Carrie Moore: Well, you can't take it back and get a new one, so let's fix it.
- Ashley Burke: [to Mary-Kate] What do you want?
- Mary-Kate Burke: Well, as much as I've loved the peace and quiet of you not talking to me, I've decided to solve your problem. Max and Brian, come on in! Okay, Ashley, pick one of these guys to kiss.
- Brian: What? You said we were gonna play Nintendo!
- Mary-Kate Burke: Come on, Ashley. If you kiss one of them, my kiss will be old news. Then everyone will think you're the cool one.
- Ashley Burke: Not if I kiss one of these guys.
- Mary-Kate Burke: Jennifer and her friends were bragging about how many boys they've kissed.
- Brian: Where was I?
- Max: Probably at Chuck E. Cheese!