- Hillary Gold: Just leave me alone!
- [goes upstairs]
- Dave Gold: Fine. Remind me to leave you alone the next time you want your allowance. Or you want a ride somewhere. Or... or you want to go to college.
- [pause]
- Dave Gold: You're not listening to me anymore, are you?
- Dave Gold: Vicky! Vicky!
- Vicky Gold: If you have something to say, feel free to IM me. I'll be in the "Married But Pissed" chatroom.
- Dave Gold: Technically, Vicky, that chat room isn't about what you think it is.
- Vicky Gold: [hears a noise from the computer] Hey, what's that?
- Dave Gold: Oh, it must be one of those pop-up things.
- Vicky Gold: Hey, who the hell is "Lonely Lady Michigan"?
- Dave Gold: Oh, that's that horrible woman Mike was having cyber-sex with. I IM'ed her and I told her she'd better leave him alone.
- [the computer beeps]
- Vicky Gold: Oh, really? Then why does it say, "Spank my ass, Dave"?
- Dave Gold: They say necessity is the mother of invention. When I first got a computer, it seemed so complicated. I thought, I'll never figure this thing out. Then I found out there was free pornography out there. I figured it out.
- Dave Gold: Your daughter's all moody and crying about something.
- Vicky Gold: Hillary's been moody and crying since she was 12. Where have you been?
- Vicky Gold: [about Larry] Okay, so one time, he wore women's clothing.
- Dave Gold: One time we know about.
- Vicky Gold: Remember, last year, he wanted to be a rock star? He quit guitar lessons after two weeks. You know, it's possible that this whole crossdressing thing is just an experimental phase.
- Dave Gold: Well, why doesn't he just experiment with drugs like every other teenager?
- Vicky Gold: [to Dave about Mike] Why the hell would you buy him expensive, new sneakers? Especially after what he was doing on the computer? If anything, you should have punished him.
- Dave Gold: First of all, they're performance athletic shoes. Okay, and I took care of the whole computer thing.
- Vicky Gold: How? By buying him a gift? Because Hillary's failing science. Maybe we should get her a car.
- Vicky Gold: So now Larry's bending over backwards to try and convince me he's not really a cross-dresser.
- Dave Gold: Ah, look, I don't need to picture Larry bending over backwards.
- Dave Gold: [to Taye about Hillary] Hey, hey, hey, let me ask you a question. Uh, what's up with her?
- Taye: You know.
- Dave Gold: No, I don't, otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you.
- Taye: Man, she's all in my Kool Aid, thinking I'm gonna holler back 'cause she's flowing all wiggity.
- Dave Gold: All right, well, uh... thanks for clearing that up.