Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 432 (2002)

Ryan Stiles: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ryan Stiles : [in "Hoedown", about directors] 

  [singing] 

  Ryan Stiles : Our director, he really is the boss. / For yelling and screaming, he's never at a loss. / He's the meanest guy that you will ever see. / He should sprout a mustache and move to Germany!

  [audience cheers] 

• Drew Carey : [before "Title Sequence"]  Somebody in this section over here, gimme a suggestion of two unlikely roommates.

  [an audience member says, "Bill Cosby and Hitler"] 

  Drew Carey : Bill Cosby...

  [audience laughs] 

  Drew Carey : Bill Cosby and Hitler, certainly unlikely roommates. If there were unlikely roommates. So-

  [stage manager shouts "Whoa! Whoa!" and approaches Drew] 

  Drew Carey : You've GOTTA be kidding me. Come on.

  [the stage manager murmurs to Drew] 

  Ryan Stiles : Not THAT Hitler.

  Brad Sherwood : Rudolph Hitler.

  Wayne Brady : [impersonating Bill Cosby]  "Would you like some Jell-o, Hitler?"

  Drew Carey : Somebody over there...

  [Ryan chuckles] 

  Drew Carey : Somebody over there, give me, uh, an occupation.

  [a few audience members shout suggestions] 

  Drew Carey : Insurance salesman. The name of the seventies sitcom you're gonna be singing about is "Bill Cosby and Insurance Salesman". Motherfuckin' hilarious, isn't it?

• Drew Carey : [in "Scenes from a Hat"]  How the cast of "Baywatch" would react to an actual emergency."

  Wayne Brady : Fire!

  [mimes taking off his clothes] 

  Wayne Brady : Fire! Run!

  Ryan Stiles : Wait right there, I'll... wait right there I'll...

  [looks to his left] 

  Ryan Stiles : Line!

  Wayne Brady : I'm falling!

  [mimes using his breasts as a inflatable that he lands on] 

  Drew Carey : You can do THAT, but whatever you do, don't fucking make fun of Hitler.

  [audience laughs/cheers] 

  Wayne Brady : [mock German]  falling!

  [mimes bouncing on his inflatable] 

  Drew Carey : "If Tarzan and Tonto were roommates."

  Brad Sherwood : Move your horse!

  Colin Mochrie : Eh.

  Brad Sherwood : [as Tonto]  You want watch TV?

  Wayne Brady : [does Tarzan's trademark yell] 

  Brad Sherwood : [as Tonto] 

  [puts head to ground] 

  Brad Sherwood : Tarzan, your in-laws are coming.

  Drew Carey : [sarcastic]  I love that; let's make fun of the Native Americans all we want. Who gives a shit about them?

  [audience laughs/cheers] 

  Brad Sherwood : [as Tonto]  Will you go upstairs and tell Hitler to be quiet?

  Drew Carey : What'd I DO?

• Colin Mochrie : [in "If You Know What I Mean", set at a hotel]  What's wrong?

  Ryan Stiles : ...Uh.

  Colin Mochrie : You look like you're expecting a vacancy, if you know what I mean.

  Ryan Stiles : Well, it's just, uh, I plan on, uh...

  [chuckles] 

  Brad Sherwood : Looks like your elevator's not goin' up, if you know what I mean.

  [Drew and audience laugh] 

  Ryan Stiles : Well, I'm short on towels and ash trays, if you know what I mean.

  Brad Sherwood : Well he

  [pointing to Colin] 

  Brad Sherwood : can help you service that, if you know what I mean.

  Colin Mochrie : Well I'm gonna give you the big "turn down", if you know what I mean.

  Ryan Stiles : It's time to change the sheets, if you know what I mean.

  Brad Sherwood : Don't let me be the one to put the mint on your pillow, if you know what I'm talking about.

  [Colin and Ryan stare blankly] 

  Brad Sherwood : No?

  Ryan Stiles : Well I think it's time for you to gather some ice in your bucket, if you know what I mean.

  Colin Mochrie : You've stolen enough towels, if you know what I mean.

  Brad Sherwood : Really? Well see if I "do not disturb" YOU, if you know what I mean.

  Ryan Stiles : [mimes tapping a bell]  Ding ding ding ding ding, if you know what I mean.

  [gives an "I dunno" look] 

  Colin Mochrie : Well I'm holding out for a bigger tip, if you know what I mean.