- Roy Biggins: What are you looking at?
- Lowell Mather: [Referring to the metal plate in Roy's head] Well, I happen to be a student of medical oddities; so, if I were to peel back your scalp, what would I see?
- Roy Biggins: The inside of a body bag!
- Fay Evelyn Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: Marriage is a wonderful institution! I know, I've been there three times myself - marriage, not an institution...
- Jerry Stark: I want you to get out your calendar right now and pick a date. Fall might be good - we could drive to Circleville for the Pumpkin Festival!