- Lowell Mather: The plane's available thanks to that bachelor party, bachelor party that might I add no one invited me to.
- Fay Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: Lowell, you don't even like Jim Barto.
- Lowell Mather: But I like watchin' strippers...even if they are my cousins.
- Helen Chapel: What the hell's this 'transponder' he keeps talking about?
- Fay Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: It's a transmitter that sends out a constant homing signal so that, in the event of a crash, they'll be sure to find us.
- Helen Chapel: And if we don't have one?
- Fay Schlob Dumbly DeVay Cochran: Well, what's the nautical equivalent of 'needle in a haystack?'
- Roy Biggins: Attention: Aeromass flight 17 to Boston is now departing this piddly airport at Gate One.