- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Give him a break. There's nothing wrong with crying, is there?
- Brian Michael Hackett: I don't know. What is the deal with men crying these days, is it in or out?
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Uh, let's see: '60s was... love and sex. No reason to cry.
- Brian Michael Hackett: '70s was... sensitive male. It's okay to cry. '80s was...
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: Making money. No crying.
- Brian Michael Hackett: And what's the '90s?
- Joe Montgomery Hackett: No money, no sex, nothing to do BUT cry.
- Lowell Mather: I'm gonna go out and find an apartment for me and Bunny. Yeah I don't know, with other people in the house we feel inhibited.
- Brian Michael Hackett: THAT was inhibited? When you were finished, *I* smoked a cigarette.
- Bunny Mather: Lowell, I love you a lot, but I don't think I'm cut out to be married. I'm just no good at it. I'm a lousy wife. But you have to admit, I'm a great ex-wife.
- Lowell Mather: [She reaches to kiss him. He stops her] Wait. I need more than that.
- Bunny Mather: I just don't think I can give you that.
- Lowell Mather: Then I think we should be separated.
- Bunny Mather: But we're already divorced.
- Lowell Mather: No, I mean physically separated.
- Brian Michael Hackett: Funny, nobody ever believes their parents do it. You really want to blow your mind, imagine your grandparents doing it.
- Roy Biggins: Could we change the subject? I find this just a little distasteful.
- Brian Michael Hackett: Oh, too distasteful for YOU?
- Roy Biggins: Look, my mother was a saint. My father was a pillar of the community. The last thing I want to do is imagine Mom wrapped in cellophane, Dad wearing tights and a miner's helmet. I didn't wake up and ask for a drink of water again for 25 years!
- Helen Chapel: Oh come on. Lowell and Bunny were so loud they kept you up all night?
- Brian Michael Hackett: Morning too. I was halfway down the block, I could swear I heard them yodeling.
- Helen Chapel: Now that doesn't mean anything. My parents used to yodel all the time, and they certainly weren't...
- [realizes]
- Helen Chapel: Oh my God!
- Lowell Mather: There's something I need you to clear up. I'm sure when you hear it, it's gonna make you laugh. Heh heh, I'm laughing already.
- Bunny Mather: What is it, Lowell?
- Lowell Mather: Well, it's just a little tiny thing, and I'm sure you have a perfectly good explanation. But
- [snickers]
- Lowell Mather: Faye told me that you have a fiance in Boston.
- Bunny Mather: Oh, he just calls himself my fiance 'cause he asked me to marry him and I said yes. It's not like we set a date or anything.
- Lowell Mather: ...It's not exactly the explanation I was hoping for.
- Lowell Mather: Well, it's 10:15, it's clear she's not coming.
- [For the divorce]
- Bunny Mather: Sorry I'm late, it was such a beautiful day I just had to stop for ice cream!
- Lowell Mather: Divorce - we Mathers don't believe in divorce!
- Roy Biggins: I know, it's a terrible thing to do to a first cousin.